Chuck vs the Women
by Extreme Stratusfaction
Summary: Chuck and Sarah are finally together and couldn't be happier... Except when Chuck keeps running into all these women from the past looking to get their hands on him.
1. Wild Card

_So pretty much no one has been updating lately, probably due to the horror of what is happening currently on the show. I decided that this is the time where we need some Chuck/Sarah fluff the most. This has been in my files for a while (pre-Season 3) and I figured I'd put it up now. It's nothing special, but there's about 4 or 5 parts to it, each part a run-in with another female character. Think of this chapter as more of a set up for the mood in the previous ones, however the others won't follow a timeline or anything. Probably a tiny bit OOC, but then again, so are the characters on the show right now. (Zing!) In all fairness, though, we all know that Chuck and Sarah will end up together. And I'm guessing that'll happen sooner rather than later. _

_---_

The bell on the door rang as Chuck walked into the Orange Orange with a wide smile on his face. His fiancée, after realizing it was him and not another customer, matched his smile with one of her own. Chuck half walked, half skipped, around the counter and moved over towards her. She met him half way and he snaked an arm around her back and responded with a steaming hot kiss for an upwards of ten seconds that left her motionless, breathless, and speechless all at the same time.

Once she gained control of herself enough to flutter her eyes open, Sarah breathed, "Wow. Somebody missed me."

"You have no idea," Chuck said as he gently moved her hair back behind her ear. "You ready to get out of here?"

"Yeah, just let me get my jacket. It's in the back." Sarah kissed him quickly before going back to the freezer. Chuck hated when she left, but he loved watching her go. Caught up in Sarah's beauty, he almost didn't register the door ringing as it opened. What he did register was that familiar sultry voice that rang out louder than the bell.

"I hope you weren't thinking of closing before I could order."

Chuck had his back to the front but closed his eyes for a few seconds when he heard her. Turning around slowly and plastering a smile on his face, Chuck said, "Hi, Carina."

"Hey, Chuckie!" She waved at him like it had only been a few days since they'd last seen each other, instead of over three years.

"What are you doing here?" He tried using a fake pleasantly surprised voice. Inside he was screaming, _"Not now, damnit! Not now!"_

"Oh, you know…" Carina shrugged off, "Just in the neighborhood."

Sarah walked out from the back and stopped short when she saw the DEA agent. "Carina!" she said using a half-upbeat voice. The other half seemed a mixture between threatening and questioning. "What are you doing here? I thought you were coming tomorrow."

"Woah, woah, you knew about this?" Chuck asked, pointing to the red head.

"Yes, this would've been the first time I actually expected her to show, but leave it to _Carina_," Sarah pointedly looked at the female agent, "to change things up."

"What can I say," Carina said mischievously, "I like to be in control."

"You know for a secret agent such as yourself, that's a pretty commonly known fact," Chuck said.

"Chuck, there's still _so_ much more I could show you." Carina winked at him and Sarah dropped the happy façade. Chuck swallowed hard and looked at the blonde who was currently staring daggers into both of them. "Oh calm down, Sarah. I'm just teasing him."

"To you, "tease" has a different meaning than it does to the rest of the world," Sarah said coldly.

"Okay, you got me," Carina said, mock throwing her hands up in the air. "I was actually just going to get Chuck alone at some point and sex him up a little. If you want my approval of this union I need to evaluate him in _all_ aspects." Chuck's eyes bugged out of his head when he saw the way Carina was looking at him.

"First of all, I don't care about your approval," Sarah retorted. "And second of all, Chuck is _more_ than capable of handling me in the bedroom. No need for a test run." Chuck looked at her wondering what she was doing. Didn't she realize she was just lighting a fire under Carina? It wasn't until he saw the competitive gleam in her eyes that he discovered she knew exactly what she was doing. He never understood the relationship between these two. He barely understood _one _of them let alone both of them together.

"Did I say evaluate?" Carina said with mock innocence. "I meant teach him some stuff. You know… as my wedding present to you."

"I think we'll pass," Sarah said as she grabbed Chuck's hand in hers and started pulling him towards the door.

Carina followed suit. "Where are we going?"

"_We_," Sarah said, pointing to her and Chuck, "are going home. _You_ are going back to your hotel. Or anywhere else. I don't care." Sarah opened the door. "Except our place," she added.

"Maybe Morgan's around…" they heard he mumble as they left.

After getting into Sarah's Porsche, Chuck said, "So I assume Carina will be a bridesmaid?"

Keeping her eyes on the road, Sarah responded, "As much as she drives me crazy… I can't imagine getting married without her there." Sarah reached out and started playing with the curls at the back of his neck. Chuck relaxed at her touch, but his eyes shot open at the sudden pain. Sarah clamped down on a pressure point and with a venomous tone said, "And if you _ever_ sleep with Carina it'll be the last sex you ever have. And I'll break your hands so you won't even be able to take care of it yourself. Got that?"

"Yes, sweetheart," Chuck said through gritted teeth. Sarah released the hold she had on his muscle and returned her hand to the steering wheel. "You know I would never even think of doing that."

"Just making it clear. You can be a little slow when it comes to these kind of things," Sarah said as she turned on her right blinker.

"About sex or cheating?" Chuck asked incredulously.

"Both."

"What? Give me one example each," Chuck challenged her.

"How about I do you one better and give you _two_ examples each," Sarah said right back.

"Go ahead." Chuck was fairly positive he was safe in this, but she seemed oddly confident. Maybe this was a mistake.

"Okay: sex," Sarah said, setting herself up. "One: the first time I stayed over for cover."

"What? That doesn't count! That was for cover. You _told_ me it was just for the cover!" Chuck said, frantically trying to defend himself.

Sarah turned onto the highway and said, "Chuck do you _really_ think if you had made a move I would have even tried to stop you? I'm sorry I didn't shout it out from a cliff that I wanted it."

Chuck's jaw was close to grazing the floor of the car as he looked at her. "But you said…"

"And then," Sarah cut him off, "you tell me I look like a prostitute! Literally, Chuck, I was this close," Sarah put her index and thumb half an inch away from her, "to giving you a night most men can only fantasize about and you screwed it up."

"I… I had no idea."

"And _that's_ why you're slow." Sarah was now reveling in her victory over the first round. Three more to go. "_Next_: the motel."

"Okay no," Chuck stopped her, "That was _not_ me being slow. Morgan stole my condom. I wanted to just as bad as you did, if not more. I thought you would appreciate me not wanting to _impregnate_ you."

Sarah laughed humorlessly, "Oh no, that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about you after coming out of the bathroom, racing to the door and telling me to sit tight while you went and found a condom. If you had waited one second to listen to what I was trying to tell you, you would have found out I was on the pill."

Chuck just stared at her not knowing what to say. Sarah looked smug. Too smug. "Okay so here's _your_ ideal situation at the motel: I go in the bathroom for a condom. No condom. I come out and tell you there's no condom. You say, "It's okay, baby, I'm on the pill," " Chuck used a falsetto to imitate her seductive voice, which just came out as sounding like a little girl. "And then I get back into bed. Foreplay, foreplay. "Now, Chuck, please!" In. Out. In. Out. Bed squeaks. "OH, Chuck, you're so big!" " Sarah laughed at the remembrance of their first time together. She had in fact said that. "And then BOOM! No, Sarah, that wasn't me. It sounded like… a gunshot? Oh yeah! It's _John Casey_ blasting his way into our room only to find us fucking each other's brains out. We get captured and wah-lah. Game over." Chuck looked at her confidently. "You're telling me _that's_ what you wanted."

"Well it sure as hell would have saved me the trouble of fighting off Fulcrum agents while I was still hot and bothered. Casey would have captured us either way. So, yes, I'd rather have sex and get captured than not have sex, fight off the group of men coming for us, and eventually end up being thrown into a cell in our own operation base." Chuck looked out the window shaking his head. So far it was Sarah: 2 Chuck: 0.

"_Moving on,_" Sarah said intently. "Now for the fun part. Cheating."

"Never," Chuck said.

"Twice," she corrected him. "Number one: The name "Lou" ring any bells?" Chuck bit his upper lip hard. "You remember Lou, right? Deli owner, small Italian, criminal ex-boyfriend... _Brunette._" Sarah was now extremely cautious of brunettes anywhere near her fiancé. When she had called Carina, she was actually undercover as a brunette. Sarah made her dye it back to red. Chuck would never know. He still hadn't looked at her. "Oh, come on, sweetie, you remember Lou. At least I do. Especially after you talked about her in bed _after_ calling me a prostitute."

"But we broke up," Chuck whined.

"No," Sarah said, dragging out the word. "You broke up with me _after_ you hit on Lou repeatedly. The first thing on your bucket list was break up with me so you could be with her."

"You told me we weren't going anywhere. While on truth serum! What was I supposed to think?" Sarah's eye grew wide at her realization.

"Oh my god, Chuck, I never told you," she said sounding somewhat horrified.

"Never told me what?"

"I'm, kind of… I'm trained to withstand pentathol?" Sarah winced at what his reaction would be.

"So you're saying you put me through that emotional rollercoaster on _purpose?_ Why would you do that?"

"Not on purpose," she desperately tried to explain. "I just couldn't afford to compromise myself, and then I kissed you when I thought that I'd never get the chance again."

"Yeah and then you made out with Bryce Larkin in my bedroom. I remember, Sarah," Chuck said, unhappy to be reliving this timeline.

"I thought you weren't jealous of him anymore," Sarah said.

"I'm not," Chuck said passive aggressively while staring out his window, "Just stating the facts."

"To be fair, you had broken up with me. We weren't together," Sarah said, defending herself.

"That's a valid point," Chuck admitted. "…Okay, round three goes to you. What else have you got?"

Sarah tore her eyes away from the road and looked at him incredulously. "You're joking, right? You have to be joking."

"…Oh come on!" Chuck yelled. "It was Jill! My first love from Stanford. There has to be some exception for that!"

"Absolutely not! And don't think I don't know all about your history with Jill Roberts. God, I can't believe I even waited on you for your date." Sarah put her elbow against the door and leaned her head on her hand.

"Beckman made me do that. I didn't even want to see Jill. You're the one always pushing the "must follow orders" crap," Chuck retorted.

"Chuck, you got back with Jill and then ran off grid with her just so you guys could fuck at some resort. Oh and did I mention she is a Fulcrum agent?!"

"_Was_ a Fulcrum agent," he corrected her.

"Oh, that's right I forgot you gave her a government issue _engagement_ _ring_ worth thousands so she could escape. Silly me."

"Alright, if you want to play it like that: Cole Barker." Sarah looked taken aback but only for a second and she went back to a calm persona, no doubt brought on by her CIA training. "Yeah, Sarah. Cole Barker, sexy MI6 agent you just couldn't keep your hands off of."

"You broke up with me before that, too. I always stayed faithful to you. The only time anything ever happened with someone was when we were broken up and even then it still didn't get past kissing. _One_ kiss to be exact. You made out with Lou repeatedly and slept with Jill repeatedly. You didn't even think of how it made me feel." Sarah now sounded a little hurt by everything. Their bet had taken a turn for the worst. "And just so you know," she said quietly, "the whole time I was kissing Cole, I was pretending it was you." They both looked at each other before Sarah looked back at the road and turned into their driveway.

Chuck still hadn't said anything when she turned off the engine and got out of the car. He followed her into the living room and she took off her jacket and threw it on the couch. She walked into their bedroom and stripped down to nothing before going into the bathroom to shower. Sarah put her engagement ring on the nightstand on her way in.

Chuck walked into the bedroom and sat down on their bed. He saw the glimmer from the diamond on the table and picked up the ring. Holding it in between his fingers he remembered when he went to go get it. He had spent hours searching for the perfect one for her. She had loved it when he finally got up the nerve to show it to her. That memory always brought a smile to his face.

Grabbing his cellphone, Chuck scrolled down his contact list until he got to the "T" section. Pressing the last contact in that section, he waited for them to pick up and walked out to sit on the couch.

"'Ello?"

"Hey, it's Chuck from LA," Chuck said with an amused smile.

"Chuck! How've you been, mate?"

"Good. Real good. Hey, listen… I was wondering if you could do me a huge favor."

"Anything for you, Chuck."

"Perfect."

--

Chuck heard the water shut off and padded footsteps as Sarah walked from the bathroom to the bedroom. "_Fuck_," he heard her whisper sharply. It was a few more seconds before Sarah walked hurriedly into the living room. "Chuck, please tell me you have my—" She stopped short at the sight of Chuck standing in the middle of the room with the ring in his fingers. Sarah would have sighed of relief, but she couldn't breath. "Chuck, what are you doing." It wasn't a question, the way she had said it. Chuck slowly walked over to her. She was dressed only in a towel wrapped around her, her wet hair beginning to curl and her face flushed red from the hot shower. She had no make up on. Chuck thought she was beautiful.

"I thought about what was said in the car," Chuck said. His voice was lower than usual and he kept getting closer and closer. "And I realized that in all of the stories there were two constants." He was close enough now that they were breathing each other's air. "And they were me and you. It's always been me and you. And it will continue to be me and you." He lifted up the ring. "This is the only physical proof that we'll always have each other. If you can move on from the stupid things our former selves have done, and take this and agree to be with me for the rest of our lives, nothing else matters, past, present, or future. So now that everything's out on the table I want to give you a second chance." He looked into her shining blue eyes. "Sarah, will you spend the rest of your life with me?"

"Of course I will," she said without hesitation. "I meant it before and I mean it now." Chuck put the ring on her finger, which felt extra delicate after getting out of the hot shower.

"I have one more thing to tell you." Sarah looked on patiently. "I planned our wedding."

"You _what_?" Sarah said shocked by what had just come out of his mouth.

"I know you don't want a big wedding and neither do I. It's awkward and not to mention would put a huge target on both of our backs. So I thought why not go to an undisclosed location where we can bring all our family and friends." Chuck had a wide grin on his face now.

"I'm listening…"

"I called in a favor for the location."

"From who?" Sarah was beginning to get skeptical.

"Well after receiving multiple death threats, Tyler Martin felt it was necessary to buy his own private island. He was eager to loan it to us for the wedding. He's got a private jet to fit all of us." Chuck was getting excited just by telling her all of this.

"Wow, Chuck, that's incredible!" Chuck stopped her before she could get too enthusiastic.

"There's just… one condition," he said tentatively.

"…What," Sarah said, her voice dropping to a dangerous level. Knowing Tyler it'd probably be he gets to sleep with her or something along those lines. Maybe she could convince Carina to do it.

"…He wants to plan the bachelor party." Chuck immediately went into The Morgan position, bracing himself for his deadly companion's wrath. When he felt no pain, he peaked through his fingers to see her contemplating it.

After only five seconds Sarah said, "Okay."

"Okay?"

"Yeah. I trust you. But here's _my_ one condition…" Sarah stepped closer and looked piercingly into his eyes. "If Alex Forrest shows up you call me immediately."

Chuck's face broke into the megawatt smile that made her knees go weak. "I love you so much."

Sarah stood up and kissed him long and hard. "I love you, too. Now," she said with an impish smile, "why don't you prove me wrong about that little sex discussion," she unwrapped her towel and it dropped to the floor, "and take me to bed, Chuck."

He grinned and kissed her, putting his arms around her and hoisting her up so that her long legs were wrapped around his lower back. He gripped her firmly and carried her away. Breaking the kiss, she panted, "You're going the wrong way, babe."

"First rule," he said, putting her down on their kitchen counter but keeping her legs in place, "It's good to mix it up once in a while."

---

_This one was a lot of talking, but the following are all one-shot stories. Remember, this was more of an intro._

_Next up: _**_Licorice Hair_**


	2. Licorice Hair

_Thanks for all the reviews, guys, you're awesome. I could update quick because this one was already written. The others aren't finished (I'm adding in a Hannah one, too) so they won't be as soon. I've heard the next episode, Chuck versus the Fake Name is going to be a real bitch, so if this still isn't enough fluff to get you through the heartache, Chuck vs. the Les Paul is always an option :) Personally I think this one pales in comparison to it, but I had fun writing it so here you go._

_---_

Chuck was sitting in his chair behind the Nerd Herd station. He had dropped his pen, and leaned down to get it. Once he sat back up he was rewarded with the sight of one Lou Palone. She looked exactly as he remembered her to and walked up to him.

Just like her fiery Italian self, Lou jumped straight into the conversation. "Okay, Chuck, we both know what the elephant in the room is. I took this to the Large Mart," she said, dropping her laptop on the counter. Chuck sensed some hatred towards the inanimate object. "Idiots told me they didn't know what was wrong. So here I am sucking up my pride and coming to my ex for help." Lou stared at him and said, "Can you fix it?"

"We don't need to start another meditating session before I start, do we?" For the first time since she'd gotten there, Lou smiled. He was just as charming as ever. And his discovery of hair gel didn't hurt either. He was looking very… Chuck-like: Cute, hot, charming, and well put together.

"I think I'm all set this time," she laughed.

"Please?" Chuck teased, "Last time I got a sandwich named after me. A pretty delicious sandwich by the way."

Lou looked at him faking suspiciousness. "You're not gonna charm your way into this one, Bartowski. Now fix my piece of shit laptop."

Chuck laughed and said, "Wow, I sure missed that mouth of yours." He then paused awkwardly, realized the unintentional innuendo. "I didn't mean like _that_, just… you—you know what I mean."

Lou spared him the humiliation and just smiled and nodded, deciding not to further that awkward conversation.

"So, uh, so what was the problem with it?" Chuck figured he might as well actually do his job.

"It won't take CDs. Or DVDs for that matter. Any discs. It just makes a weird noise and spits them out after five seconds." Chuck grabbed a random CD that was lying on the desk and tried inserting it. Just like Lou described, it spit it back out. Probably for the best, he realized, after reading the three words written on the CD: "Boobies!," "Boobies!," and – you guessed it – "Boobies!"

"Huh, yeah I see what you mean…" he said.

Lou leaned forward waiting for a solution to her problem. "So…"

"Oh!" Chuck said, snapping back into reality, "Right! This is a quick fix we just need to replace the optical drive and it'll be as good as new. Or as good as it was before the optical drive started spitting out discs," he fumbled. "Should be ready by noon tomorrow."

Lou smiled at him brightly, liking how comfortable he was in his own world. "So," she said, making conversation, "confiscate any illegal salami recently?"

"What?" Chuck then realized she was referring to his fake-real undercover job as an FDA agent. "Oh, I see where you're going." Chuck leaned forward and looking around cautiously, said, "I'd tell you, but then I'd have to kill you."

"Well," Lou said right back, "we wouldn't want that, now would we?"

"Well it would let me off the hook from having to fix your laptop."

Lou smiled at him and said, "You know, Chuck, I broke our deal. You can come to the deli and order yourself a Chuck. You have my permission."

Chuck's famous smile appeared at that and he said, "I think I may have to take you up on that offer."

--

From under the Orange Orange Sarah was sitting in front of the monitor relaying the security camera's view of the Nerd Herd station. From Orange Orange she saw that familiar licorice hair walk into the Buy More and Sarah immediately decided she'd take a break. Sarah bit her pen hard as she watched the flirty conversation between Chuck and Lou. Sometimes she really hated how charming her boyfriend was. He was such a walking billboard for women with good taste in men it would have sickened her if not for her being one of those women. Taking the pen out from between her tensed jaw, Sarah wrote down on a post-it note, "BUY MORE 12:00," and stuck it on the edge of the monitor.

--

At 11:45 the next day, Sarah strolled into the Buy More looking stunning in a light blue halter-top summer dress that ended at mid-thigh. Her hair was let down, resting around her shoulders in sensual waves. She saw Morgan tap Chuck on the arm and point in her direction, to which Chuck responded by looking at her and dropping his mouth open in awe. Whenever he did that Sarah always felt like he was probably picturing her cart wheeling or crawling towards him on her hands and knees with a predatory look. She loved it. Sarah loved feeling like Chuck's little sex kitten. She liked a man who could take a backseat, and that was completely Chuck, but that all changed once they were in bed. Sarah liked being able to feel tiny in his arms and trust him unconditionally as he took control. It wasn't just the sex, either. Sarah was head over heels for him and Chuck felt the same way towards her.

"Hey, Sarah," Chuck said, coming out from behind the desk. "What are you doing here? I thought your break wasn't for another ten minutes."

"My break is whenever I want it to be," she said before planting an attention-grabbing kiss to his lips. "And I wanted it to be now. I closed shop for the rest of the day."

"Okay," Chuck looked at his watch, "um, I still have one more thing before I can go. Do you want me to just meet you at the Orange Orange?"

"That's okay, I can just wait here." Sarah looked at him with no wiggling room. Chuck stared back before tentatively nodding his head.

"Are… are you sure? I wouldn't want you to be bored." Chuck did not want Sarah there for when Lou showed up. He wasn't going to cheat on Sarah, but he could do without his assassin-trained girlfriend picking a fight with his ex.

"Trust me, _baby_, I'm sure I'll find a way to occupy myself." The way she stressed the pet name gave Chuck a sinking feeling in his stomach. She knew. Who was he kidding? Of course she knew. It's Sarah Walker for crying out loud. Chuck couldn't blow his own nose without Sarah knowing. He couldn't help but notice how hands-on Sarah was being with him just then. She was marking her territory before Lou was even here. Normally Chuck would hate being monitored and controlled, but it was completely different when Sarah was doing it not to protect the Intersect, but to protect her 'man.' She reminded him somewhat of a feral cat when she got like this. It turned him on immensely.

Chuck had no idea what he was getting himself into when Lou walked through the sliding doors. She smiled and waved not unlike the time he fixed her broken phone. Sarah had seated herself in Chuck's chair behind the desk and Chuck stood next to her, gripping the laptop nervously in his sweaty palms. Lou's smile waned when she saw who else was there. She wanted to believe their relationship was just a cover, but by the look she was receiving from Sarah, something told Lou it was way more than that.

"Hey… Chuck," Lou said awkwardly as she got within speaking distance. Looking at the blonde who seemed to have no problem with staring a hole through her, Lou shot her a veiled look and added, "Sarah."

"Hi, Lou," Sarah said sweetly. Lou didn't buy it, but the two of them were so passive-aggressive in the matter that the only thing showing on their faces was a fake smile plastered on. "What brings you here?" Sarah's years of practice allowed her to hold a welcoming face when inside she was restraining herself from jumping Chuck right then and there just to show Lou who came out on top. Instead, Sarah widened her bright blue eyes a little bit more and lifted up the corners of her closed mouth just as much.

Lou eyed her before deciding to play along. "Well, Chuck, here agreed to be my knight in shining armor and fix my broken laptop." At that, Sarah's smile faltered but she quickly regained her composure when Chuck cleared his throat, also hoping to clear the tension. Both women dragged their eyes away from each other and looked at the man of the hour. He looked between them before handing over the laptop to its owner.

"All fixed," he said nervously as he handed it over the counter. His eyes widened as he felt Sarah place a firm hand on the back of his thigh, moving it up and down slowly. She was now sporting a small smile and her left eyebrow peaked. If Lou noticed she didn't let on, but Chuck sure did.

"Ah! Haha!" Thus was the sound of Chuck's well-known nervous laugh. Grabbing around him, he tamed Sarah's wandering hand. Not trusting her to contain herself, Chuck held a tight grip on her hand. This was Sarah's cue to finally stand up, making it painfully obvious to Lou and anyone else watching that Sarah Walker and Chuck Bartowski were very much an item.

Not wanting to prolong the awkwardness, Lou said, "Well, thank you. I'll see you around, Chuck. Nice seeing you again, Sarah." Sarah gave a wide toothy smile this time and actually waved goodbye.

Lou went out the exit that was attached to the rest of the mall, which gave her time to turn and see Sarah kiss Chuck passionately before dragging him out the front doors by the hand. "Whore," Lou mumbled under her breath.

"Well _that_ was subtle," Chuck said once they were out into the open air.

Smiling mischievously, Sarah innocently said, "I'm sure I have no idea what you are talking about."

"Oh, come on, Sarah," Chuck said, "I know you knew Lou was coming over to get her laptop. Why else would you be dressed like a goddess in 'fuck me' heels?"

"You really know how to sweet talk a girl," Sarah complimented him sarcastically. Leaning into his ear and pressing her whole body against him as she did, she whispered, "Maybe I wore 'fuck me' heels for that very reason, Chuck." Darting the tip of her tongue out, she licked his ear at the same time she placed her hand in a very sensitive area.

"I know what you're doing," Chuck groaned, trying to salvage whatever dignity he still had.

"So stop me," she dared him with a seductive whisper.

Chuck almost gave in when a plan that could easily backfire on him popped into his mind. "You know, Sarah, you're really sexy when you're jealous."

All memories of her intentions to ride him so hard he'd forget his own name, let alone Lou Palone, were lost as her promiscuous eyes turned a stormy blue. "I am not jealous."

Chuck smiled inwardly knowing he had just found his ticket out. It wasn't that he didn't want to take Sarah right then and there, but… he didn't want to take Sarah right then and there. Sarah had warmed him up enough to be okay with kisses in public, but he was definitely not ready to take the next step of whipping it out for the world to see.

"It's okay, sweetie, you just get intimidated by other girls. I understand." Chuck was digging his own grave.

"Ha, I don't get intimidated by other girls," she denied. "If anything they're intimidated by me."

"Well, sure they are. Once they see you bring out the claws. But that's more of a defense mechanism, isn't it?" Sarah looked like she was going to explode. She spun around in front of him, forcing him to stop walking.

"Let me make this very clear," she said as she stabbed her finger into his chest. "I do not get jealous of random girls who wish they were me. You flash that stupid, gorgeous smile at everyone you see. They get a false sense of confidence and think that it's only an eyelash bat away from you ripping their clothes off." Chuck kind of liked this Sarah. He felt like he was seeing the real her even though he knew she really was a nice, loveable person. "So then I have to step in and tell them the guy of their dreams is taken because he's the guy of _my_ dreams. And the guy of _my_ dreams only has eyes for me."

"Sarah, you know I would never even consider anyone else besides you," Chuck said sincerely as he brushed away a lose strand of blonde hair that had fallen into her eyes. "If I did, then it would hurt you. And I promise I'll never hurt you."

Sarah looked up into his eyes and Chuck could clearly see the vulnerability in her eyes.

"Chuck, I trust you. As hard as that may be to believe considering…" Sarah shook her head, not wanting to go down that path again. "I just don't trust them. I know the looks they get and I just get a little nervous. And I'm sorry about the way I… express that nervousness." She laughed awkwardly and Chuck smiled crookedly at her.

"You know," Chuck said, "if you had told me that before, I might have even let you continue with whatever your hand was doing behind the desk." Chuck winked to emphasize what he said.

Sarah laughed and said, "No you wouldn't. You're not that kind of guy." Chuck gently took her hand in his and laced their fingers together as they continued their walk to Sarah's car.

"I don't know, Sarah. You keep showing up at my work looking like that and that restraint could get worn away fairly quickly," he said, eying her from the side.

"Well then maybe me wearing these heels wouldn't be all for nothing," she sighed.

Chuck turned to look at her. "Who said it was all for nothing? My sexual restraint reaches as far as this parking lot. Take me home, and I will not be responsible for any of my actions."

"Then we're definitely taking my car," she said, pointing to the sports car that had no business being in front of an Orange Orange. "And I'm driving. Any complaints about how fast I'm going and you'll be complaining about how _slow_ I'm going later."

Chuck smiled brightly and squeezed her hand. "Deal."

---

_Don't forget to review! I'll need some serious encouragement to finish the next few updates._

_Up next:** Egg Head**_


	3. Egg Head

_Dun dun dunn. She's baaaaack. I'll give a little bonus prize to the first (or only) person who can tell me what song is being referenced time and time again while Chuck and Sarah are getting ready at the beginning. Hints: the title is mentioned, blue, breathe, shoes, shirt, make-up, basically everything. "R______ __ B______" by ________rd C__f_______l_

_I do not own _Doug_ or its theme song which gets stuck in your head forever and ever._

_---_

Sarah stood in front of her mirror in nothing but her matching lacy black lingerie. She leaned over the bathroom counter and with slightly quivering hands somehow managed to apply her makeup to perfection. She decided on a shimmering champagne color for her lips, knowing whatever she wore would most likely be smudged by the end of the night and red just wasn't Chuck's color. Or was it salmon? Either way, Sarah didn't think she could handle anything getting in the way of tonight. She didn't consider herself a romantic, but everything had to go perfectly. She made sure there was no smudge line or too much of anything anywhere.

Tonight was the night Chuck was going to propose. She'd been practicing her surprised face in the mirror for days ever since she found the ring. She didn't open the box, not being _that_ much of a spoil sport, but she did go out and buy a completely new outfit when Chuck asked her out for dinner at the most expensive restaurant in the area via a note that was sent with a dozen red roses to her hotel room. Chuck, of course, was the biggest romantic the world had ever seen.

He, too, needed everything to go perfectly tonight. His past experience with engagement rings had not gone smoothly, and Sarah probably would not be too thrilled to receive a ring covered in coffee grounds and miscellaneous DNA. More so, if she had to look through a dumpster to find it. So Chuck silently vowed that would not be the case this time. In a desperate attempt to stop the cycle of bad luck, Chuck had put a tracker on the bottom part of the box under the ring and the platform holding it. Now he could sleep knowing he knew where it was at all times.

Chuck stood in front of his full-length mirror trying on different shirts and reminding himself to breathe. He'd given up the futile attempts to control his heartbeat hours ago and now simply just wanted to remember to breathe. _"In through your nose, out through your mouth,"_ Chuck recalled hearing Sarah say during his training to become a spy. While it was a helpful tip, just the thought of Sarah made that task all the more difficult.

Chuck still had no idea what to wear. After more inner fashion critique than he'd like to admit as a straight man, he finally settled on the blue button down shirt Sarah had said she liked on him. At least this way he'd compliment her outfit nicely. She always wears blue. He loves when she does, because it makes her gorgeous eyes all the more prominent.

Once that decision was made, Chuck took notice of his bare feet. No All-Stars tonight. No, tonight he was flying solo. Dress shoes and a suit jacket were called for this occasion. He had to admit, he felt a little like a Linus without a blanket when he left his apartment.

Chuck arrived at Sarah's hotel with a few minutes to spare, which he spent envisioning the way he hoped the night would pan out. He'd ask, she'd say yes, and they'd walk out with Sarah's left hand weighing more than it did when they went in. Nothing more, nothing less.

Chuck checked himself in the rearview mirror before getting out and walking into the building. Riding up in the elevator, Chuck relied on his fallback nervous habit of whistling. Unfortunately, the first thing that popped into his head was the theme song from _Doug_. "Doo, doo doo, doo doo…" Hands in his pockets, his right one clutching the small velvet box like a lifeline, he watched the bright red numbers slide off the bottom of the screen as the next one slid into its place at every floor. Chuck pictured a diorama-type view of inside the hotel. Somewhere diagonally above from him in a room-sized box of plaster, concrete, and carpet was where the woman he hopefully was going to marry was waiting. And here he was, in this tiny metal box slowly sliding up to reach her. Just two seemingly insignificant citizens of the world in a building, in a city, in a state, and so on. Chuck wondered if anyone else in the world was getting ready to propose right now. Or if it was just him.

Doug had just stepped in a can of paint by the time the doors opened to her floor, signaling the end of the whistling. Chuck walked the same path he had walked a hundred times before to her door and stood in front of it. The door opened not five seconds later and filling the doorframe was the most beautiful person he'd ever seen. Words couldn't begin to do her justice. This pair had never been good at words anyways, and there was one thing they both knew to be true: it was all in the eyes. Sarah saw in his eyes everything that even the most articulate schnook in the world couldn't say.

Chuck smiled and held out his arm, which she took without a moment of hesitation. They walked into the elevator together, both with shy smiles on their faces. As the floor numbers decreased, Chuck turned his head to look her in the eyes. "You look amazing, Sarah."

Sarah thought of the hours she spent finding the perfect dress, the money spent on the perfect shoes to go with it, the thousands of crunches she'd done to keep her perfect figure, and everything else that led up to her looking perfect standing in an elevator with him. It was all worth it now that she knew Chuck had noticed even for a second. She leaned in a little closer and gripped his bicep a little tighter, thinking that she'd be holding onto this arm for the rest of her life and no one else's.

"Thank you," she said quietly, "You look nice."

Chuck admired his girlfriend, hoping beyond hope that their future kids would have her eyes. Granted, of course, that they were fortunate enough to even have kids in the future. Chuck had come to terms with the fact that in their lives the things that usually went without saying sometimes needed to be shouted from the top of a skyscraper.

Chuck was nervous that she could hear his heart beating out of his chest on the car ride there. She refrained from making some flirty comment that would catch him off guard, such as _"What's the occasion, sweetheart? I didn't know they changed the date for Valentines Day."_ She knew why they were there. And he didn't need to know she knew. If he got nervous, he might change his mind. And biting her tongue was a small price to pay in order to insure his follow through.

On the other hand, it was kind of his fault she knew. What kind of guy puts a tracking device in a ring box and thinks his superspy girlfriend won't find out?

But so as to keep him sane Sarah waited for him to run around and get her door. She took his arm when he offered it. She let him pull out her chair for her. And she let everything he did go on without a hitch, because her only part the whole night was to say yes.

That is, until she saw what walked through the entrance in the middle of their entrées.

Chuck had his back to the door, so when Sarah choked on her wine and started coughing into her napkin, Chuck had no idea what could have caused it.

Sarah furrowed her brow and tilted her head to the side, shaking off her initial response.

"You alright?" Chuck looked concerned and leaned across the table slightly.

"Yeah," she croaked as the red washed away from her face. "I think it just went down the wrong pipe."

Chuck bought her excuse and loosened up. "I hate when that happens."

Sarah darted her eyes between his and the person behind him waiting to be seated. Damn her for looking so good. Sarah could not believe this was happening. This was her night. Her perfect night. And that perfect night did not include a run-in with that woman. Sarah realized she'd have to move fast if she wanted to save the evening. The second he sees her it's over.

"So, sweetie, is there something special tonight or are you just going to make a habit out of spoiling me?" Sarah leaned forward and gave him an eyeful of cleavage. She then leaned back, inwardly shaking her head and telling herself she would not seduce him into proposing like some mark.

"Yeah, no, um, there was—is something I, uh, brought you here for," Chuck was getting more and more nervous by the second. Sarah put on a nonjudgmental look and smiled at him trying to help him out. She then put her hand over his. It was a little moist. "Sarah, we've been together for a while now, right?" She nodded encouragingly. "And everyday I look at you and think of how much you mean to me. How I couldn't live without you… and so I got to thinking. What are we waiting for? I love you more than anything in the world. And now that I have you I never want to let you go. And I think you feel the same way about me. So, Sarah—Sam… whoever the amazing woman sitting across from me is. Will you…"

It wasn't a scream. It wasn't glass breaking. It wasn't a gunshot. It wasn't Casey smashing through something. Nor was it an exploding generator, a flash, a slap, etc.

It was just a tap on the shoulder.

You know how in the movies the camera zooms in quickly on the person's face when their entire life comes crashing down around them?

Sarah couldn't bring herself to close her mouth. It just hung open. Staring at the tablecloth, she couldn't even blink. _This isn't real, this isn't real, this isn't real._

Chuck was startled and turned around. His heart dropped into his stomach. "…Jill!"

"I hope I'm not interrupting," she said obnoxiously clueless. Sarah still hadn't moved, frozen like an ice sculpture. Still staring at the tablecloth with her jaw unhinged, Sarah laughed. Just once, as she played audience to her own life. Of course. Of _course_ Jill Roberts would show up. They haven't seen her in what? Years? But of course on _this _day at _this_ time and _this_ place, she would make her big return. Of course. Why not? It's not like the universe has ever passed up a chance at screwing with her life before.

"Jill," Sarah said trying to bite back on the level of venom in her voice. "What a surprise!"

Jill regarded her in the same way someone would if they weren't sure if they or the person behind them was being waived at.

"…Sarah," Jill dragged out in a sickeningly fake pleased voice. "What are the chances?"

"Pretty fucking good apparently," Sarah inaudibly mumbled as she stabbed at her plate.

Chuck decided to finally do something. "Jill, what are you doing here? You should be halfway across the world by now," he whispered sharply.

"Calm down, Chuck, Fulcrum is dead. I have no one to hide from."

"I'll give you someone to hide from," Sarah mumbled in a low tone.

Jill looked at her and asked, "Sorry, Sarah, what did you say?"

Sarah once again laughed bitterly to herself and ignored the woman.

"But what about the government?" Chuck still didn't understand how she could be so calm about this. "You're an escaped convict, shouldn't you be a little more cautious?"

"_Jill Roberts_ is an escaped convict. Erin Keane is simply a lonely widower who has yet to let go from after her poor husband's death."

By only moving her eyes to look, Sarah glanced at the hand that had tapped her should-be-fiancé's shoulder. Now Sarah was simply smiling dismally in disbelief.

Chuck soon after caught on and saw the familiar ring on her hand. "J—Is that—Is that the ring I gave… handed to you?" He decided "handed" sounds much more platonic than "gave." He wanted to give Sarah a ring. He had handed Jill one. As far as he was concerned: two totally different things.

This was beginning to get too weird for Sarah. Chuck hadn't even told Jill to leave yet and now she finds out that that woman has been wearing her boyfriend's engagement ring? Seriously? Pulling her napkin off of her lap and placing it on the table, Sarah said, "Excuse me," before standing up and walking to the ladies room.

"No, Sarah, wait," Chuck tried, reaching out after her. He didn't even get to finish.

Sarah smiled at him quickly but it didn't come anywhere close to reaching her eyes. Chuck sighed and dropped his hands in defeat as he watched her turn the corner to the restrooms.

"Great," he said sounding disappointed, "That's great."

"Did I miss something?" Jill asked as she watched the couple fall apart before her very eyes.

"No," Chuck said with forced enthusiasm. "You hit it _right_ on the mark." Standing up, he turned to face her head on. Staring into her dark eyes he said, "Give me the ring, Jill."

"It's part of my cover, Chuck, I can't get rid of it," she replied.

"Then I'll buy it off you!" He pulled out an empty check from his wallet and a pen. "How much do you want for it?"

"It's not for sale."

"Don't be ridiculous, you can buy a new one with the money," he said. "How much?"

"Not happening, Chuck."

"Why are you doing this!" Jill only stared at him, infuriating him even more. "Don't you get it? I can't go on knowing there's a woman out there wearing an engagement ring she got from me."

"Don't you mean 'Sarah' can't go on knowing that?"

"You know what? Yeah. I do. How am I supposed to give her this," he said, pulling the ring box out of his pocket and shoving it in her face, "when you're standing here with that on your finger?"

Jill's eyes locked on the ring box. She couldn't find the words to say anything.

"You know, after I helped you escape from a life of prison for crimes you no doubt committed, I'd think you'd be a little less stubborn to help me out. Just out of decency, I expected more." Chuck scoffed and said, "You really need to grow up." He barged past her in the direction of where Sarah had gone and never looked back.

Sarah had been sitting on the couch in the restroom blowing off steam. How did things get so out of control? This was not how she had envisioned this night going. Sure, she and Chuck have never been what's considered "normal," but this is just ridiculous.

She looked up when she saw a woman in her late forties wearing jewels the size of fists walk over to her. In a distinguished voice she announced (this woman did not 'say'), "I'm guessing you're Sarah?" Sarah perked her head up instantly and looked at her. "Yes, well your companion is waiting outside for you like a lovesick puppy." Sarah's eyes brightened and the woman smiled contentedly and sat down next to her. Sarah moved over to make room. "I believe he used the words 'breathtakingly beautiful' and 'eyes you can lose yourself in' when describing whom it was he wanted me to retrieve."

Sarah gave her a full smile and explained, "He's always been quite eloquent."

The woman sighed, "Yes, well I have to admit it's a nice change of pace seeing a couple that's truly in love." She held out her left hand and displayed the boulder of a diamond on her ring finger. Sarah's chest felt a pang of jealousy, not at the diamond, but at the ring itself. "As you can imagine, the circles I run with aren't much for love. Greed is in abundance, but love is secondary."

Sarah subconsciously rubbed her bare finger, the charm bracelet on her wrist sliding down at the motion. "…I got lucky, didn't I?"

"More than you'll ever know, sweetheart."

When Sarah walked out, she saw Chuck leaning against the opposite wall looking like he was in the waiting room of an ER. As if he had been caught in the act, he instantly pushed off the wall and tried standing straight in an attempt to prevent her from witnessing it.

She looked at him straightening his tie and breathed out a laugh through her nose. They both smiled crookedly at each other, expressing the inexpressible through their mutual silence. Chuck offered out his hand and she gently took it, entwining their fingers.

Jill was nowhere in sight by the time they reached their table.

"Will you hate me forever if I tell you I've lost my appetite?" She was worried but Chuck just smiled and wrapped his arms around her.

He whispered into her ear, "Actually, we were leaving whether you liked it or not." Sarah laughed and lightly hit his chest.

Chuck signaled for the check and it was quickly brought over. Opening it, he was surprised to find a single diamond ring tucked in with the receipt.

"What is it?" Sarah asked when she saw his expression.

Chuck stared into open space with a faint smile. Palming the ring, he turned to his love and said, "You're one expensive date, Miss Walker. If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were only with me for my money." His signature smile appeared and she laughed.

"Oh, sweetie…" she sighed, "…You don't have any money."

Chuck stared into her eyes deeply. "You always know just what to say."

"It's a skill," she shrugged playfully. "Do we need to wait?"

"Nope," Chuck said. "Cash only. With my luck the government would come up with some reason to cancel my card and I'd be stuck here looking like an idiot."

"You underestimate how catastrophic our dates can be," Sarah said.

"Call me a romantic."

They walked out of the restaurant together and Sarah smiled at her nameless friend on the way out. The woman nodded at her and Sarah looked at the dinosaur sitting next to her. Suddenly Sarah didn't think her relationship was that abnormal after all. They went outside and waited for a taxi.

"So, what now?" she asked him. He knew full well what she was referring to.

Chuck was about to answer when a taxi for them drove up. Chuck opened the door and let her in before he followed suit. It was dark in the cab as they drove over highways and under tunnels. The streetlights flickered over their faces and Sarah leaned into his shoulder. Their driver was silent as he drove them back to Echo and the only noise was coming from the occasional contact between the rosary beads swinging from the rearview mirror. Sarah was emotionally exhausted and just wanted to power down for a while. Chuck served as her pillar and didn't mind being her pillow either. He could get used to this. Being with her. It was like she was a part of him. Chuck draped his jacket over her and she nuzzled into his neck.

He softly whispered her name and she looked at him adoringly. It was then that he reached into his pocket and grabbed the small box. He flipped it open and took out the ring. Sarah's heart was beating so fast. Putting the box back in his pocket, he held the ring between his pointer finger and thumb. He whispered to her as her gaze stayed glued on the ring. "Will you marry me?" Never taking her eyes off it, Sarah held out her hand and he slid it on her finger. He had always dreamed of marrying her. And when they finally got things right he knew it was only a matter of time. Now it was official. He was going to marry her. Not only that, but now he would know for a fact what her real name was. She was going to be a Bartowski.

"Oh, and Sarah?"

"Mm?"

Chuck pulled out the other ring in his pocket and showed it to her. "You are the only woman on the planet wearing my engagement ring."

Sarah kissed him, somehow managing to express just how much she loved him through that one gesture. Chuck then held her tighter against him and they were silent for a long while but Sarah finally spoke.

"I still want to kick her ass."

Chuck nodded. "I figured that's what you'd say."

---

_I really hope Jill comes back when Sarah and Chuck are finally together. That'd just be awesome. "To a night of infinite possibilities..." _


	4. Nerd Herder

_Sorry for the long wait. The need for updates was much less now that Chuck and Sarah are pretty much the most adorable couple ever and school lately had been insane. Thank god finals are over. Also, sorry for people who liked Hannah. I don't have much against her except maybe she was a little too clingy. Still, the exes in this story are the villains so don't freak out too much is she comes off as OOC. _

_Before I forget, the song for last chapter's little easter egg is "Remember to Breathe" by Dashboard Confessional, which apparently many of you are fans of as well._

XxXxX

**Nerd Herder**

The couple walked hand in hand through the sea of tired and hurried people, looking at each other as if they were the only two left on Earth. The woman was breathtaking and had a certain glow about her. Men's wandering eyes followed her everywhere she went, but it wasn't until further inspection that they realized the man whose hand she was holding didn't belong to their competition. It didn't, because he had already won. A diamond ring and matching wedding band adorned her finger, the stone reflecting a piercing light that stabbed right into the hearts of hopeful suitors. All speculation that maybe the spark in their marriage had fizzled out was instantly proved to be just that when they stopped to stand in line at the ticket counter and she spun around and kissed him adoringly. The diamond ring shone brightly as it slipped through his brown curly hair and eventually rested lightly on his jaw. Her husband took her into her arms once their lips had parted and she relaxed comfortably with her head on his chest and arms around his waist. Together they gently swayed back and forth as they waited for their turn in line.

"Chuck?" she said.

"Yeah?" he replied in a muffled voice since his chin was pressed into her blonde silky hair.

"What about kids?"

Chuck smiled as he stared into open space. "I don't know, Sarah," he said patronizingly, "what about kids?"

"I want them." She lifted her head up so she could look into his eyes. Her gaze flickered between his eyes and she had that tiny nervous crease between her eyebrows as she waited for his reaction. They had been discussing their future together ever since they had said "I do" and there didn't seem to be any end in sight yet.

"Me, too," he told her.

A smile erupted across Sarah's face and she stood on her toes to kiss him again. "I love you so much."

Chuck smirked as he kissed her again. "Always nice to hear," he confessed after the kiss. Sarah ran her index finger flirtatiously down over his lips leaving him open-mouthed. "Alright, Mrs. Bartowski," he said as he readjusted his grip around her frame, "and how many kids would you like?''

Sarah pursed her lips and looked to the side as she contemplated her answer. "Two boys and two girls. Boy, girl, girl, boy. In that order."

"Sounds like we're going to have to start strategizing our positions," Chuck mumbled into her ear.

"You know, it's funny you say that," she said playfully, "since I've heard that if you go through the entire Kama Sutra with someone you're bound to get exactly what you were hoping for." (Sarah had never heard this.)

"Is that so?" he said right back at her. Sarah nodded persuasively. "Well it looks like our plane doesn't leave for a couple hours…" he said suggestively, throwing in the Bartowski Eyebrow Dance at the end and making her laugh. He decided against telling her he had spitefully gone out and bought the entire unabridged version of it after finding it in Shaw's library that one time.

"Mmhmm, and the plane doesn't land for hours either," she said flirtatiously, running her hands underneath his shirt and massaging his bare lower back. If that wasn't a tempting offer, Chuck didn't know what was.

Finally they were next to walk up to the counter to print out their tickets. Sarah typed in the information for their tickets and Chuck started reading the flight listings displayed on the screens above.

"Oh no," Sarah heard him groan. She looked up from what she was doing and asked him what was wrong. "Flight's delayed two hours. They all are." Chuck spotted an airline employee checking bags behind the counter. "Excuse me," he said, "do you know why we have all the delays?" Chuck was met with a blank stare. Sarah then leaned over and said the same thing, but in French. The employee's eyes lit up with understanding and they replied in French. Chuck couldn't just flash in the middle of talking to strangers, so he was glad his new wife was almost fluent in what seemed like every language on the planet.

After listening to the woman, Sarah turned to Chuck and said, "She says there's some kind of… storm… I think."

"Volcano," the man next to them said in a thick accent. "One erupted in Iceland. The dust is everywhere. They cannot see."

"Oh wow, I hope everyone's okay," Chuck said sincerely.

"I don't think it is fatal," the man told them.

"Yeah, I never learned the French word for 'volcano eruption,'" Sarah said.

"Well that's not going to clear up in two hours," Chuck figured, ignoring his wife's comment. Sure enough, right after Chuck said this all the flight statuses switched from delayed to cancelled. "Oh, great. Look at that. That's just fantastic," Chuck said clearly unhappy about the situation. "It's not like Ellie's due date is _tomorrow_ or anything."

Sarah reached out and pulled Chuck away from the man. Once he was out of hearing distance she said, "Let me try and get Casey on the phone. He might be able to pull some strings for us and get us a government flight back." Chuck was visibly struggling to keep his composure. "I'll _also_ call Ellie after and let them know what's happening." She stood on her toes and gave him a lingering kiss before he could say anything. Smiling, she said, "Don't freak out," before walking off to where the pay phones were. Chuck could see from where he was that the line might as well have reached the tarmac on the runway.

Chuck gathered all their bags and found a luggage carrier to put them on. Like most others, his girl did not pack light. He tried weaving through the mass of people and finally made it to the small convenient store. He figured he could find ways to keep himself occupied while Sarah tried getting Casey on the phone.

"What do you mean 'there's nothing you can do'?" Sarah said impatiently into the phone. "Baby Awesome is due tomorrow, Chuck will be destroyed if he can't be there."

"_Listen, Sarah, I understand that you're not happy about the situation you're in right now, but there are other people in the exact same one. People that take priority over you. Every single plane is being used to get those people back, so I'm sorry if the NSA and CIA aren't exactly putting two honeymooners in Paris at the top of the list," Casey said sarcastically._

Sarah took a deep breath and closed her eyes. "I know. I would have said the exact same thing. But… Casey, this is Chuck. And his family. You know how important this is to him and, please, I can't let him down. I won't. Please, Casey, I'm begging you. I don't want him looking back on our honeymoon and only remembering that he missed his nephew being born because of it." Sarah waited for Casey to respond but heard nothing. "…Casey?"

Finally she heard a gruff voice on the other end. _"…I'll make some calls. See what I can find. How can I reach you?"_ he asked her, knowing that their cell phones couldn't connect in France.

Sarah smiled widely and then said, "Call the airport. Tell them who you are and ask for Stephanie Carmichael." Sarah looked back and could tell the guy behind her was about to yell at her to get off the phone. "Also, tell Ellie what's happening. Thank you for this, John. I've got to go."

Sarah hung up and almost got run over by the man behind her lunging for the phone. She wasn't sure where Chuck was but figured she'd check out the usual suspects to find him. Sure enough, he was in the store reading a gaming magazine next to the candy section. "This is my husband," she said dryly to herself, deep down knowing she loved the fact that he was a nerd.

Chuck's always had some weird sixth sense of being able to tell whenever she's near him, so without her saying anything he looked up and saw her walking over. He closed the magazine and ran over to her. "Did you talk to Ellie? Is she upset?"

Sarah took a hold of his hands and looked him in the eyes. "I didn't have time to reach Ellie but I talked to Casey and he's working on finding us a plane. I told him to let them know what's going on. I'm sorry, Chuck, that's the best I could do. There's nothing we can to do but wait."

"It's alright, honey," he said, pulling her into a hug. "Thank you. I really appreciate it."

Sarah tried to get out of his embrace. "I'm going to go wait in line again so I can call Ellie, okay?"

Chuck got a firm grip on her waist and stopped her. "Hey, don't worry about it. You've done more than enough." He pushed some of her hair behind her ear and said, "Why don't we just go cuddle up by the snack machines and wait it out, hm?" Sarah still hesitated. He continued, "Yes…?" Chuck starting wiggling his fingers and tickling her, which instantly brought out her laugh and smile.

"Okay! Okay," she said through her laughter. "I guess I can wait for the line to die down a little…"

"That's more like it," he said with his own smile.

The airport had already begun to fill up with people camping out. There were families on vacation, businessmen traveling on work, friends, and couples. A select few even had babies with them, which was a recipe for disaster considering no one knew how long the wait would be. At one of the gates they finally spotted a free space by the giant glass windows that displayed the runway. Chuck nearly climaxed when he saw the open electrical outlet right next to it and sprinted over to make sure no one else got there first. He had his laptop out before Sarah even had a chance to catch up.

"It says there's free WiFi here," he said without looking up. "I'm going to try and send Ellie an email." Sarah sat down next to him on the vent and outstretched her legs. She wasted time playing with her fingers and watching the other people walking by. She zoned out as she imagined strangers' life stories. She tried putting herself in the shoes of people back home. What if she had been in Burbank when Chuck was stranded in Paris? She'd probably end up sitting by her laptop all day just so they could video chat and see each other's faces. Sarah couldn't believe how big a cliché they were. "You want to use it," Chuck said, snapping her out of her thoughts.

Startled, Sarah looked at him holding out the laptop to her. "No, I'm alright," she said. Chuck put it back on his lap and was about to start up a game when he realized he was just leaving her alone. He looked at her fiddling with her thumbs and hesitated a little before saying, "You want me to teach you how to play something?"

Sarah seemed just as hesitant for a split second but quickly lit up. "Sure."

That earned a Bartowski smile in return. "Cool," he said excitedly, moving the laptop next to him on the floor. "Here, come sit," he said, spreading out his legs. While Sarah had been sitting on the small vent lining the walls, Chuck was sitting on the carpet. Sarah dropped down to his level and sat in between his legs, leaning back enough to feel enveloped in his arms. Chuck positioned his head next to hers and brought the laptop onto her lap. He put his arms around her and used them to show her all the different options for games he had on there. "Any preference?"

"Nothing too hard," she told him, not confident in her gaming abilities.

"Well then I'd say it was about time you were introduced to the classics, Sarah Walker."

"Bartowski."

"Bartowski," he corrected. "Alright," he said, opening up a new game of Pac Man. "Show me what you got."

Sarah pouted. "I thought you were going to teach me," she whined.

Chuck raised his eyebrows. "I see we're going to need more of a hands-on approach." Sarah smirked. "Okay, put your fingers over the arrow keys." Sarah did as she was told and Chuck put his own much larger fingers over hers. Chucks started the game off on the beginner level.

"So what do I do?" Sarah asked him, watching as the screen showed the start of the level.

"Well the goal of this game is to eat all the little dots in the maze without running…" Chuck watched as Sarah panicked and ran straight into a ghost. "…into ghosts."

"Whoops," she said.

"Alright, no problem we've still got a couple lives left. Here, follow my fingers," he said, guiding them through the maze by pressing down on her fingers on the keys.

"How do I make it stop?" she asked him.

"Make what stop? The game?"

"No, no, no, the little yellow guy," she said.

"Oh," he laughed, "You can't."

"What?" she said incredulously as her eyes stayed glued to the screen, "What do you mean I can't? What kind of game is this?" She watched as Chuck rolled over a different color dot from all the rest. "What are you doing?" she exclaimed, "You're going to hit a ghost!"

Chuck laughed loudly at that, enough for her to feel his chest vibrating against her back. "Babe, when you get a dot like that one, you can eat the ghosts."

"This game is so weird," she mumbled. "What do circles and dots and mazes and ghosts have to do with anything?"

Chuck paused the game. "Do you want to stop?"

"Well I never said that," she told him, unpausing the game. She was too focused on the screen to notice Chuck's bright smile.

XxXxX

They played until Chuck felt a light thump against his chest and realized Sarah had fallen asleep with her head resting against him. They had been sitting in that position for almost an hour by the time he heard his stomach rumble. Chuck tried holding out so he wouldn't have to wake her up. Finally it got to the point where he couldn't wait any longer and he actually had a headache. "Sarah," he said into her ear. He thought he had woken her up but she only snuggled deeper into his shoulder. He then had the brilliant idea of using the technique he had for waking his sister. Chuck then learned his lesson for how bad things happen to people who pinch a spy's nose when they're asleep. "Ahhh," he moaned, his voice catching in his throat. "That… that was," Chuck tried forming words as he rubbed his wrist. "…painful."

"Sorry. First reaction," Sarah said, rubbing her eyes after waking up. "What were you thinking doing that to a spy?"

"I was thinking I'm about to die of hunger if my wife doesn't wake up now," he said. "Gahh," he gasped, still holding his wrist.

Sarah rolled her eyes. "Relax, I didn't break it."

"How do you know?"

"Would you like me to prove it to you by showing you what it would look like if I'd broken it?" she offered threateningly.

"Not really," he said.

"Well then I guess you'll just have to take my word for it. Suck it up."

"Whatever," he said sounding annoyed. "I'm getting food."

Sarah watched Chuck walk off. She hadn't meant to hurt him, but it's not like it was her fault. She decided he'd live without a little sympathy. Except she'd been sitting alone for five minutes and already missed him. So maybe she could have been a little nicer. She wasn't going to lie and say she didn't know how to inflict a significant amount of pain on someone. At least she hadn't broken it. …She thought. She'd have to think of some way to make it up to him.

"Excuse me," a female voice said beside her. Sarah turned her head and saw a short brunette woman with long dark hair. She was in a business suit and Sarah could have sworn she'd seen her somewhere before. She had had aliases in France before though and didn't want to bring attention to herself in the case that person actually wanted her dead. "Sorry, I was just wondering, um…" The woman laughed and held up her phone. "My phone died and I was wondering if I could use the outlet to recharge it, if that's okay."

Sarah looked at the outlet and then back at the woman. "Oh! Yeah, go right ahead." Sarah leaned over and unplugged the laptop charger. "All yours."

"Thank you." The woman smiled and knelt down to plug in her own charger. Setting the phone down on the floor she looked back at Sarah. That's when Sarah realized where she had seen her. All over Chuck is where she'd seen her. "You look familiar…" she said. Sarah's training kicked in and she expressed nothing on her face. "Do I know you from somewhere?"

"I don't think so," Sarah said convincingly.

"it's so weird," the brunette said, "I feel like I've seen you before."

"I was in an American commercial once. I ate a messy cheeseburger on national television, maybe that's what it is," Sarah said, reciting her cover story. She really needed to come up with a new cover story.

"No, that's not it." Sarah was starting to feel awkward with the way she was being stared at. She wasn't that surprised that she didn't recognize her. Sarah had probably watched her _way_ more than she had watched Sarah. "Man, this is going to bother me so much."

"Maybe I just have one of those faces," Sarah suggested, really hoping she would leave before Chuck got back. Too late. Sarah looked past the woman's shoulder and saw him walking towards them with all kinds of snacks in his arms. Sarah's eyes widened to saucers and tried to get him to look up from balancing all the items in his arms so she could convey the message to get the hell out of there.

"Hey, I didn't know what you wanted so I just got you," Chuck finally looked up and saw the two faces watching him, "H…annah!"

Sarah closed her eyes in defeat and wished she could sink into the floor. Hannah looked shocked when she saw Chuck but then it finally clicked in her mind and her head swiveled back to stare at Sarah. Chuck remembered the two had never actually met before and he decided to try and take some of the awkwardness away. "Sarah!" His wife looked at him with wide eyes waiting to see what mess he was getting himself into. "This," he motioned to Hannah, causing him to almost drop his food, "is Hannah, my, uh…"

"We used to work together," she cut in, choosing not to acknowledge their brief relationship. "Nice to meet you, Sarah." Sarah shook her hand and looked back at Chuck.

"_Stephanie Carmichael, please report to the front desk. Stephanie Carmichael, please report to the front desk_." The voice boomed over the intercom and Sarah's eyes widened even more. This time Chuck looked at her and she gave him a look that said he'd better figure something out quick.

"Sarah," he said in a horrible acting voice, "would you mind giving Hannah and I some time to catch up? It has been a while since we have seen each other." If looks could kill, Chuck would have been six feet deep. And then another six feet from the look Hannah was giving him.

Despite the fact that murder was flashing in her eyes, Sarah gritted out, "Of course, honey. Take as long as you need." Sarah stood up and walked away very mechanically. She stopped when she reached Chuck and without looking at him, said in a tense voice, "I am going to kill you." Chuck's eyes widened and he gulped loudly.

XxXxX

Sarah might as well have sprinted to the front desk. She saw a male employee standing there and she made eye contact and flashed a smile. "Stephanie Carmichael?"

The guy smiled back at her. "A phone call," he said, obviously not spectacular at English. He handed the receiver to her which she snatched out of his hand. She waited for him to walk away before putting it to her ear.

"This better be good, Casey."

"_Really, Walker? I work my ass off trying to do you a favor and that's the greeting I get?"_

"It's Bartowski!" she said in an upset tone. "Why is it that no one can remember I'm his freaking wife?"

Sarah scrunched her forehead in embarrassment realizing what she sounded like. She wasn't surprised by the grunt she heard on the other side._ "Trouble in paradise?"_

"Something like that," she sighed. "Hurricane Hannah just rolled in."

"_As in Nerd Herd Hannah? 'Mish' Hannah? The Hannah that Chuck screwed when you guys—"_

"Yeah, Casey, that Hannah," Sarah said abruptly.

"…_Yikes."_

"Yeah, well I just left the two of them together because I had to come talk to you so please just tell me you have good news," she pleaded.

"_I got you a flight out. Called in a favor from San Trope."_

"You didn't," Sarah said incredulously.

"_Take it or leave it, Walker. Sorry... _Bartowski_. That's the only contact I have that's crazy enough to fly right now."_

"Okay, whatever. What time does the plane come in?"

"_Should be in around 3pm. You've got a few more hours."_

"Okay, thanks, bye!" Sarah tossed the guy behind the desk the phone and hauled ass back to Chuck.

XxXxX

Meanwhile, Chuck had been struggling to find a way to go about the situation he had put himself in.

"I really don't want to talk to you," Hannah said coldly.

"I probably deserve that," Chuck said. As easy as it would have been for him to just let her leave and never return, Chuck wasn't the kind of guy who could not care that someone hates him. "I just don't want you to go on thinking I'm a jerk. Do you think you could maybe just give me the benefit of the doubt and let me explain why everything happened the way it did?"

Chuck could tell she was considering walking away, but finally she said, "Fine."

"Okay. Um." Chuck tried thinking of where to start. Even he didn't understand his own life. "So, when you met me I was kind of… in a weird stage. I had screwed up any chance at a relationship I had with the girl I loved. I was being thrown into situations I had no business in being in. I was lying to everyone I cared about and I didn't even know who I was." Chuck looked at her and with total sincerity said, "You really are an amazing person. I know you think I just kept you around until we slept together but I promise you that was nothing more than a coincidence. Everything just happened to catch up with me right at the same time. I just couldn't be in a relationship with you. I'm sorry I hurt you. I really wasn't trying to." Chuck's puppy dog eyes were at their fullest as he waited for her reaction.

"Well," Hannah crossed her arms and sighed, "Thank you for being honest." Chuck smiled of relief. She motioned to the direction Sarah had gone. "So, you and Sarah… you're…?"

Chuck smiled brighter and managed to look shy at the same time. He lifted up his hand and she saw the ring on his finger. "Married," he said, his happiness apparent in his facial expression.

Hannah's eyebrows shot up. "Seriously?"

Chuck's smile waned. "Yeah, why?"

She shook her head. "Nothing, just… I just didn't see her as the kind of person you could expect to be there at the end of each day, I guess. I mean, hasn't she always been pretty up and down about you guys? Doesn't seem like the marrying type to me."

Chuck grimaced. "What are you saying? That my marriage is going to fail? Because Sarah and I have the most stable relationship I've ever seen."

"I'm just saying," she shrugged. "Can you actually picture growing old with her? Starting a family? I mean, Chuck, she's absolutely nothing like what we could have had."

"I'm starting to think maybe that's not a bad thing," he said, seeing a side of Hannah he had never imagined existed. It was then that he saw Sarah walking over to them, her blonde hair flying behind her. "Excuse me," he said, not bothering to look at Hannah before going and meeting Sarah halfway.

"Hey, everything okay?" she asked with a concerned expression. Chuck didn't answer her question. He walked up to her and reached out his hand to cradle her face, kissing her like he hadn't seen her in months. Sarah wasn't expecting it but she quickly melted into the kiss and closed her eyes. Chuck pulled back but kept his hands on the side of her face. Looking into her blue eyes he said, "Marrying you was the best decision I've ever made in my entire life."

"I bet you say that to all your wives," Sarah joked.

Chuck smiled and shook his head. "You are the first and last person I will ever say that to."

Sarah was visibly blushing and she changed the subject. "I talked to Casey. He got us a flight out in a couple hours. We should be able to make it back before the baby comes."

"Oh my god, is there anything you can't do?"

"Time will tell," she sighed overdramatically. Sarah looked past Chuck and then back at him. "You want to tell me why I'm getting a dirty look from your ex over there?"

Chuck turned his neck to see what she was talking about. He then looked back at Sarah. "Not really," he said honestly.

Sarah drew her head back and stared at him in disbelief. "Rhetorical question, Chuck. What happened while I was gone?"

Chuck inhaled and puffed out his cheeks. Avoiding eye contact, he said, "Let's just say… she isn't your biggest fan." Chuck knew he was in trouble when he saw her eyebrow raise and her mouth open.

"What'd she say?" Sarah asked, staring into his eyes curiously.

"Uh… nothing much really…" Chuck stalled. Chuck refused to look at her, so eventually Sarah reached out and grabbed his chin and directed him to her.

"Speak," she demanded.

Chuck gulped. "Something about… you… not being, marriage material. Or something," he said nervously. "But, you know, what is 'marriage material' anyways, right?"

"Is that so…" she said in a dangerously low voice, in turn scaring the crap out of Chuck.

"Oh, no," Chuck said hurriedly, "I know that look. Sarah, don't start something here, she's not worth it."

"Don't worry, sweetie. I've got everything under control," she said under her breath. She had lazered in on Hannah and was walking over looking less than calm. Chuck put up his hands in frustration and ended up punching his fist into his open palm and following behind her. Sarah went straight to the electrical outlet and pulled out Hannah's charger. Picking it up along with the phone she stood up and shoved it into Hannah's chest. "I want you gone in the next five seconds. Start walking or I'm calling security saying you assaulted me."

"Excuse me? And why would they believe you?" the shorter woman said defiantly.

Sarah wrapped her hand behind her neck and lifted her hair up, showing some nasty looking bruises. In reality it had felt amazing getting those the night before. "See those marks? You tried to choke me. My husband was even a witness to it."

Chuck's eyes widened at the mention of him. Hannah looked at him and scoffed. "You won't _actually_ back this up, will you?" Chuck was speechless.

"Oh, yes he will," Sarah spoke again bringing the focus back on her. "And you know why?" Sarah leaned in and said in a venomous tone, "Because unlike with you… he didn't dump me on my _ass_ a day after we fucked."

Chuck's eyes shut tight and he stood there looking like he was in pain. _Just_ after he had finally been forgiven for that. Hannah looked furious and even more so when Sarah started with a barely visible smile, "Five… four… three…"

Hannah turned to Chuck. "You picked a real winner, didn't you, Chuck?"

"Two…"

Hannah turned and marched off through the crowd of people. Sarah didn't bother watching her go.

"Quick and painful," Chuck recapped. "How very… you."

Sarah shrugged. "I needed to work out a more efficient way of dealing with brunettes. I'm not thinking too much about hurt feelings." They both sat down on the floor and she grabbed a bag of chips Chuck had brought over. "Plus," she said as she opened the bag, "my fuck me heels are all the way at the bottom of my suitcase." Sarah smiled impishly and popped a potato chip into her mouth.

XxXxX

"We're flying on _that?_" Chuck asked, unable to believe that he was about to get on what looked like a private jet fit for a king.

"Yeah, that looks about right," Sarah sighed, not surprised in the least by the flashy appearance.

"For a guy like Casey who's about as social as a cactus, he sure has some great friends." Sarah didn't say anything and just kept walking to the plane. Chuck held out his hand to help her up onto the staircar that was parked in front of the plane.

Sarah wasn't sure if she had misheard him over the sound of the engine, but she could have sworn he said, "Watch out for hop-ons." Climbing up the stairs he continued, "You're gonna get hop-ons," before laughing to himself. Sarah decided to just ignore his temporary insanity.

Walking into the cabin, only one word came to mind. "Wow." It had leather seats and couches, it's own fully stocked bar, a television, and a private room in the back. Sarah walked over and sat down in one of the plush reclining seats. Chuck went over and explored everything he could get his hands on. Suddenly someone else appeared in the entranceway from the cockpit up front.

"Well, I see I can skip the "make yourselves at home" comment."

Chuck's head shot up and he hit his head on a shelf with a loud bang. "Ow," he said, clutching his head.

"Hey, you," Sarah said with a smile, standing up and going over to hug her best friend. "Thank you for this. We really appreciate it, more than you could know."

"Of course," Carina said, "Consider it a wedding gift, since you rejected my other one." Sarah had held her ground at the wedding, stating that no matter what Carina was not sleeping with Chuck. "Although I have to admit, I had something else in mind when John Casey called me saying Chuck needed a ride."

Sarah lost her friendly demeanor. "Still not funny. Still not happening."

"We'll see…" Carina sang.

"Uh, no," Chuck said, "Sarah's right. Not happening."

"Well, if you change your mind, there's a bed in the room back there. Just say the word and I'm there," she said with a wink at him before disappearing back into the pilot seat.

Sarah was so sick of women throwing themselves at him she just wanted to scream. She looked around trying to find some way of venting her frustration. Finally her eyes landed on the one thing she could absolutely go off on. Standing up, she walked over and grabbed her husband. Dragging him by the belt buckle, she pulled him into the back room and pulled off her top as she kicked the door shut behind them. It was her turn now.

XxXxX

_Reviews make me smile :o) And I hope at least some of you understood the "hop ons" line._


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